Je tournais autour depuis plusieurs mois. Voire des années.
La transmission générationnelle, les traditions, l’évolution de mon système de valeurs et ma mission de vie.
Le paradoxe de l’identité, qui je suis et qui je devrais être. Ou plutôt, la culpabilité et le sentiment de « trahison », de rupture avec les valeurs qui m’ont fait grandir. Je me suis fait accompagnée, par des psy, des coach…
Ça m’a permis d’avancer, de m’affranchir de certains points, mais il me manquait quelque chose. Ce truc était là, embrumait mon chemin, et j’avançais à tâtons. Je n’arrivais pas à mettre le doigt dessus, lui donner un nom pour qu’il puisse disparaitre.
Puis on m’a envoyé un article paru dans @lemonde concernant la charge mentale des enfants d’immigrés.
La charge mentale, encore.
Ce poids sourd, ambiant, qui accompagne chaque prise de décision. Parce que le sens du devoir est un 6ème sens qui s’est développé au détriment de la maturité émotionnelle.
Et lorsque j’ai été confronté à l’opportunité de décider d’une trajectoire de vie, de MA vie, je me suis sentie impuissante. Incapable d’avoir – d’entendre ? – une voix intérieure pour me guider. Je ne l’avais pas observé, ni imité, ni appris. Je ne l’avais pas étudié, je n’avais pas de process, je ne savais pas faire.
Ce qui n’a pas aidé, c’est l’incompréhension de ceux qui veulent aider.
« Au fond de toi, tu veux quoi ? Tu aimes ? Ça t’apporte de la joie ? C’est simple, si ça te plait, fais-le ! »
« Si ça me plait, si ça me procure de la joie… Ça va, je suis plutôt neutre, tout me va… »
Je comprends que le sens du devoir l’emporte sur son propre ressenti émotionnel, et qu’en les étouffant, ces émotions non-identifiées ressurgissent un peu n’importe comment, d’une manière dysfonctionnelle. La culpabilité à la place de la colère. Ou une colère disproportionnelle qui déborde à chaque frustration.
Comme un enfant qui pleure de colère parce que ce n’est pas maman qui lui a préparé son biberon, mais papa… Arrête de pleurer, tu as ton biberon ! Tu n’as pas faim ? Tu as besoin de te nourrir ? Ou plutôt, le besoin d’avoir l’attention de maman ?…
D’où ma fascination pour Vice Versa, et mon obsession de rendre compréhensible, accessible, déchiffrable le monde des émotions.
Je rencontre lors de mes accompagnements des adultes dont la méconnaissance de leurs émotions impacte leur vie personnelle, mais aussi professionnelle. Que ce soit un mal être au travail, sans comprendre s’il s’agit d’une quête de sens, ou d’un environnement de travail incompatible. Ou d’un choix de vie défini par le besoin de sécurité financière vs une réalisation créative. Ou encore d’avoir un enfant, ou deux, pour le sens du devoir vs son envie réel. Paradoxe toujours.
À ces adultes, je vous accompagne à grandir émotionnellement, à apprendre à exprimer vos émotions d’enfant, à réclamer à voix haute votre besoin de protection, de soutien et d’amour. Je veux vous offrir un safe place pour accompagner vos vulnérabilités et vos libérations. Mettre le doigt sur ce qui vous empêche de vous réaliser et trouver l’équilibre pour mener une vie harmonieuse.
#chargementale #enfantsdimmigres #parentalisation #harmonie #coaching #loyauté #defidelexile #transculturel #sensdudevoir #besoinderealisation
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